Musings - An Endeavour to writing by Monika

Home is within By Monika Kathuria

Banyan tree Sector 17 Chandigarh

Home is a symbol of peace and comfort. We struggle to look for peace and comfort in places, in things and in people. We invent an image around us that defines us, as to who we are. Every action we take and every move we make is governed by that self image we want to project to the world. Our expectation of how people should perceive us is very important to us. It is that decides, if consider ourselves to be happy or sad, successful or not, famous or infamous.
However, our personality actually is the product of our mental conditioning as done by our environment and society. We get carried away by the assumptions and presumptions and believe them to be true. Layers and veils of societal expectations and pressure hides beneath, the personality we are! We ourselves do not realize who we are.
Many people find it difficult to answer to the question "who am I?" Beyond the name, designation, profession and role (mother, father, etc.), it becomes difficult to identify oneself with.
What is my "authentic self"? This is something which most people on the planet do not even think about.
When I came across this term in Robin Sharma's book, The Secret Letters which I am re-reading after about 4 years, I found myself contemplating on it.
As I contemplated on "authentic self", various thoughts crossed my mind. If being a woman, teacher and mother is my identity then how is it different from the millions of other people on earth? Then how am I unique or even authentic? To live an authentic life requires a lot of courage. Courage to accept our fears and our weaknesses, to explore our talents, dreams and desires. To accept failure and dejection. To be comfortable with who we are. To try to manifest our goals to reality. Yet, the most important part is to be honest only for ourselves and not to validate the projected self-image. In living an authentic life we give power to our soul to grow. We accept our weaknesses, transform them and evolve.
It brings out the fact that life is all about "the journey of becoming!" It is not about reaching a destination or achieving milestones. It is about shedding the veils and letting go of what we are not. The comfort of home is thus not in places, people or things it is in becoming who we are supposed to be....
The home is within!

She’s a waif : Nobody’s Child

Composed by – Monika Kathuria

Those dark tear-filled eyes,
Those moans and those heart-rending cries,
Of the lonely child, in the dark moonless night,
Roaming alone in the wilderness, terrified !

No one around to share or care,
No one to look after her, no one dear.
No shelter, no clothing , no food for days,
Barefooted she walks at 5 years of age.

Sight of any woman reminds of her caring Mother.
It was not long ago, When she was the center of love,
Her mother’s life – this fatherless child.
Those lovely days did go where? Alone she cries.

On a bright and sunny morning
With her mother she went shopping.
Holding her hand she was hopping
Happily and merrily she was living.

Someone came from nowhere,
Others followed him with spears!
With pistils, knives and swords bare !
Their aim was not clear.

Shouting, yelling ran people, scared!
Hither and thither and here and there.
The bullets fired, the shots heard.
Those bodies fell with a thud.

Pools of blood collected in no time.
Before her eyes was a gruel some sight.
With her mother dead before she realized.
She was left as – Waif – Nobody’s Child !

The riot was over, the mob dispersed,
The night was over, the darkness cleared.
Her life faces a dark prolonged night…
Hungry unhappy, sad and terrified childhood cries…..
She’s a Waif – Nobody’s Child !

Love Thy Heart 💗

Love Thy Heart!!!

When we talk of ♥ we associated with emotions like love. Is it really so ? There are lots of sayings....warm hearts, cold hearts, clean hearts, mean hearts, light hearts, sweet hearts... 💓

"Two hearts beat as one", they say to those who are in love. While at loss of affection the "hearts get broken" , trouble makes one's "heart bleed".💔
Happiness makes "heart gladden" 💖. His "heart was in his mouth", after having "gone out!" Sometimes the "heart is in highlands". Sometimes "heart is all over the place".💞
How does heart acquire a personality?
💘 When people meet, something happens, something goes boeing! Surely, it is the living, loving heart that react and gets excited at the sight of the beloved person. 💓

Damn it!! But heart is just a pump!

An automatic blood pumping machine that can be replaced! How come heart symbolize love? It is believed that we subconsciously remember our mother's heart beat. So, heart was at first metaphor for motherly love and later became so for romantic love.💗

So what sends the signal of love through our bodies? Today in the age of science we know that it is Adrenal Gland!

The very idea is revolting!!!
Imagine adrenal gland-a little piece adhering to the kidneys.

It is hard to picture it on a Valentine!

The previous definition of love 💝 as "heart to heart connection" can now be replaced with-

"A renal-adrenal-cardiomuscular epithelial relationship between two pulmonary arteries....."

Imagine a heart♥ beating, pulsing, flapping valves, opening and closing. How much does one owe to this little struggling thing. It's alive, it's working hard, nearly 100,000 times a day, it beats. It's no doubt hardworking hero, an unappreciated friend, worthy enough to represent a sentiment like love♥ .

(Similar to what Shakespeare said)

My heart♥ goes to my ♥ heart and I must pause....till it comes back to me!

God is very kind

As we travel on life's journey,
Challenges we faced; many difficulties,
Rearing up a family can be taxing, immensely.
It was music what enlivened me, I played instrumental melody.

As she came into my arms, she cried,
I shook rattles, instruments were kept aside,
Life may be harsh but God is very kind...
With my guitar, a part of me was left behind!

I did rock to music, I swayed, gracefully,
To teach her to walk, wobbly,
I left my dancing shoes, with a melancholy.
Life may be hash but God is very kind...
With my rhythm, a part of me was left behind!

Penning down my thoughts was a passion.
It was a vent to my self-expression,
She was learning a nursery rhyme,
Life may be harsh but God is very kind...
With my pen, a part of me was left behind!

Now holding her hand, I retrace my journey, backward,
With her beside me, my broken pieces, I gather,
with memories, I glue them together!
I regain, recreate "the parts of me" I had left Behind!
In my daughter, the lost me I find, God is very kind! God is very kind !!!

Musing... Reflecting

If life is a mirror, the reflections I see.
In whatever you do, how do I see me?

If life is a prism, the rainbow I see.
There are seven colours, which one is me?

If time is eternal, an endless infinity...
Our souls must have met in an other reality!

(#musing @thehealinghub_ )

If wishes were dandelions, as we would like it to be...
We would not wait for genie,
We would pluck out endless wishes, instead of waiting for three. (Anonymous)

If pain were a stranger, as I would like it to be...
How come it follows, and grabs me like it knows me.. ( Sushant)

Wishing Joyful and Enlightening 2019

Wishing for Joy in New Year...
Joy is a source of alignment of our heart, mind, souls and spirit. It is a natural incense that spreads fragrance. It's God's reflection in his creation and in us. Joy can ignite the fire of transformation and creativity. May the joy in our hearts ever increase. May it take us to a deeper level of soul consciousness.
Wishing all a
Joyful and Enlightning 2019!
♥
Monika Kathuria

Through 2018

My daughter wanted me to share my journey of 2018 on her instagram page (@infinitenothingness), where she quoted Robert Frost -"The best way out is always through ". Share your journey through 2018.

So here's it dear-

Year 2018 was an year of lessons. It opened me to different realities.

We are all vulnerable and seek acceptance. Acceptance and validation for who we are. The turmoil shakes us or breaks us. Seen with right attitude can make us to what we should turn out to be.

During the year, I fell, I rose, I cried. I felt lost and alone deep inside. There was a retaliation in my eyes for having been taken "for granted", too long, for all my compromises. I felt suffocated and in dis-harmony with myself and surrounding. So, I kept myself busy.

When suddenly I was thrown to self (re)discovery. I was (and still am) a loner. An introvert and an introspector. However, I realized that I was also a survivor. I was not a victim of my struggles. I did not need any sympathy. I was capable. I was me...

I was taught a lesson to rise above all my fears. To accept all my short comings. It is in accepting and acknowledging that we release. Which in turn opens us up to be empathetic, genuine and authentic person; even if it meant being ridiculed at. I learned to apologize, when required. I became humble and full of gratitude.

In order become sane I strived.

I decided to work harder. I started to do yoga and exercise. I started to go for long nature walks. I took to scribbling my ideas, I started to write, though I still hunt for expressions. I started meditating regularly.

Near the year 2018 end, I did make some friends. As an educator I touched young minds. I sowed new ideas and insights.

There were things I left behind- my pessimism, my fear of public opinion and my inhibition. I let go of the pain and toxic attachments. I forgave them those who didn't care for me or pretended to do so. I have no place for obligatory relationships. I have learnt to be my own friend!

Those who are judgemental will not stay. Those who are meant to be will always find a way. I am a believer and God is very kind.

As a saying goes- "Life is a fantasy there is no reality, we are nothing and in being nothing we are everything! "
Quoting my favorite lines of Robert Frost : "The woods are lovely dark and deep but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep...and miles to go before I sleep !"

Wishing you a very Happy and Enlightening New Year 2019!

Who am I ?

I still believe I am getting closer. Closer to rediscovering myself on the road I got lost. I find myself travelling back and forth in time. The Déjà vu is overwhelming. This is how it started...
Once as I sat trying to write and let my creative juices flow. Suddenly my thoughts got loose. They appeared and danced around me in the air, fluttering, like colourful butterflies. Their pretty wings flapped, soundlessly, yet they created a breeze. The whole room was filled with fragrance of flowers. It smelled so sweet that, I felt nauseated. It was surreal! The butterflies vanished just as they came. I stood amazed- watching myself sitting alone at my desk!
I sighed and within no time came charging horses, elephant and the knights. The room turned into a battlefield. There was smell of dust in the air and I felt suffocated. I gasped for breath! Unable to decide, if I was on the Black or the White side. The game of chess suddenly disappeared. It left me sweating and I stared into nowhere.
Then suddenly came words, letters and alphabets. They just kept pouring; echoing in my ears. There were metaphors everywhere. The "pun of words" created the "fun" of words! I skipped a heartbeat and started drowning in this sea. The words were deep. Too deep for me to surface, so, I decided to let them overpower me. And as I sank even deeper, suddenly- I re-discovered the lost me!

Metanoia : A Resurrection

"Metanoia : In Carl Jung's psychology, it indicates spontaneous attempt of the psyche to heal itself of the unbearable conflict by melting down and then being reborn in a more adaptive form"- Wikipedia.

When I heard this word a few days back, I was greatly fascinated. Speaking "Metanoia" itself felt different. As I repeated this word several times to myself, I could feel its vibrations. I knew this was for "me". I am going through this phase of "Metanoia". I would often sit several times, trying to write some meaningful creative pieces. Only to find myself scribbling my thoughts and then discarding them. However, when it came to writing emails, letters and official documents, the necessary skills and vocabulary would surface. While I struggled with creative pieces, the vocabulary diminished and expression vanished. Day after day, I wondered as to why on holding a pen I would go blank- no thoughts, no ideas, no expression ever flowed through my pen.

I was musing when I got my answer. We all sometimes suffer from the "performance anxiety". Anxiety to farewell in life; in relationships. To be popular; to be accepted; to be loved, for what we are! The pressure of being accepted pushes us to the edge. We may also be driven to perform well due to our unavoidable circumstances. The challenges that we face at work, job, in meeting our finances or in dealing with health issues or relationship issues . We work hard to carve a niche for ourselves in this world. This vast world where we are just a-spec; a spec of light- a soul. The very reality we have long forgotten.

Our struggles pull down. They leave us depressed, suppressed, frustrated, anxious and lost. We find our identities are dissolving into nowhere. We start to believe that we are a "mere dot" - "one in the crowd". We find ourselves to be inadequate as compared to the standards of the society. We eventually realize, that, happiness is elusive, transitory and that ever escalating desires leave us in a dilemma. Then another struggle begins- the struggle to discover (rather re-discover) or redeem our lost self.

We look around for anchors and supports. When we get that inspiration, the connection with our soul. We get redeemed. We rise from our ashes and we rise from our pain. We rise to be the change. Thus begins the process- Metanoia!

Let's play today - with words!

We live through Metaphors And Metaphors too live through us -

They play with us !

If ideas contain nourishment, then metaphorically speaking people and feelings are expressed in temperatures... Somebody could be warm towards us and yet give a chilly response leaving us feeling cold... Somebody could project an icy demeanour, giving frozen glare and a wintery stare... This revelation, without a sunny disposition is enough to end a frozen relation!!!

After almost an year I have written something to post, I dedicate this to my friends...

You Guys Rock!

The Purpose - Discovery of Self

Identifying Our “Purpose”

follow Instagram @thehealinghub_

Most of us believe that there is a purpose to our life. Though, we cannot always clearly see it... We want our lives to matter and want to live our purpose intentionally. The search for meaning in life is basic to all of us. We are often forced to examine it, when some crises devastate us. We are face conditions of suffering like an illness, a divorce, a loss of a job, or death of a loved one. We take life for granted till the triggering events shakes us and often wakes us up from our slumber. We are faced with the big questions – “What is the purpose of my life?” and “What am I meant to do on earth?”

Crises are catalysts for finding the purpose of our life! The purpose is all about-aligning our energies around our true priorities.

Goals are not purpose as they are about doing or achieving some ego- driven activities. Purpose is not a job, nor role, nor a goal. It is our belief that our life truly matters. It is about who we are and about what our gifts and energies are!

Our natural talents are our gifts for 3 reasons- firstly, they came with us; Secondly, they are gifts to others too when we share them. Thirdly, we achieve something when we share them.

Everyone’s purpose is unique and powerful. There are several opportunities virtually everywhere for us to align our lives with our gifts. The gifts that we express naturally and enjoy giving have with us without further study or pursuit, are the gifts that are for your higher purpose. They have the power to server as your calling!

Many people find themselves in an “Existential vacuum” searching for their purpose. Many feel starved for want of alignment in their lives. Life is a cradle to grave journey. Purpose is essential to fulfill the vacuum. Life is a continuous set of questions to be answered and lessons to be learned. We grow through phases of progressive awakenings that involve- physical, mental, emotional and spiritual calling.

Most of the effective people know how to focus on their daily activities, while keeping their aim on a larger story- the way they want to live their lives. The story we tell ourselves, gets us focusing the time and energies around it. It helps us to re-orient and re-assess our lives to bring out the purpose in life.

Purpose calls us to live our values. The values we choose to center our lives around. The way we, orient ourselves towards life. When we are faced with devastating situations, a purpose may actually be found or strengthened. We may learn who we really are. The suffering triggers the events that force us to re-assess our purpose of life as the basic sense of self gets disrupted. So, we are re-awakened to see our life closely. If our purpose is strong all the areas of our life starts getting affected. We begin to eliminate what is now irrelevant and de-clutter life. People and places who do not serve the purpose are left behind and ties break. A process of simplification takes place and we achieve clarity about ourselves and our lives. We don’t need to pretend who we are not!

Reiki Principles

Just for today, I will not be angry.

Just for today, I will not worry.

Just for today, I will do my work honestly.

Just for today, I will be kind to my neighbour and every living thing.

Just for today, I will be grateful of the blessings I have.

Reiki Way Of Life

Reiki was "re-discovered" by Dr. Mikao Usui, a Japanese, in the early 20th century. Dr Usui rediscovered how spiritual leaders as the Buddha and Christ were able to perform miraculous healing through mere touch without depleting their own energy reserves. A deep spiritual experience led him to devote several years to the study.

Reiki (pronounced as `ray-key`) is consists of two words—`rei` and `ki`. `Rei` means a higher form of intelligence while `ki` is the life force. Together, `reiki` is understood to be a kind of universal energy.

This system heals by raising the vibrations, of the being or object to be healed, nearer to that of the practitioner. It is a multidimensional energy healing system, which can heal the cause of a problem at any level of — body, mind, or spirit.

As Reiki is guided by God-Consciousness, it can never do any harm. It always knows what a person needs and will adjust itself to create the effect that is appropriate for them.

Reiki is a system where the practitioner can do no harm

and

can make no mistakes!